Sunday, November 27, 2011

Want to Heal? Or Not?

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In my years working with sick people, I have found that many people want to heal,

but some do not.

In an effort to understand why, I turned long ago to the amazing works of Caroline Myss. Last week, I pulled one of her books off the shelf, drawn for unknown reasons. Tonight, I realized the connection.

I had been re-reading Why People Don't Heal and How They Can.  In the years since I studied the book, much of the information has integrated spontaneously into my practice; however, I always learn something new when I digest a book like this again. It's a new perspective driven by personal and professional experiences I have had since I initially held the book in my hands and mulled over its message.

Last night, I read about Myss' concept of "woundology." Myss writes early in the book, "when we define ourselves by our wounds, we burden and lose our physical and spiritual energy and open ourselves to the risk of illness." stop for a moment and think.

Is there a physical or emotional wound
you experienced earlier in life
that still drives your decisions or reactions?

Each of us has had either a critical parent, a rocky relationship in the household, a physical injury, the death of a loved one, a moment of terror, or a bad experience in school...

the question is,

Do you covet it?

Do you emotionally "feed and water" it like a houseplant?

Do you allow it to be the excuse
that you can't live authentically
or without fear, anger or depression?

A friend called tonight. His ex-wife has been diagnosed with Stage IV ovarian cancer that has metastasized to other organs. He needed to brainstorm what to do.

I gave suggestions regarding the western medicine perspective (insurance talk/hospitals/recommendations for questions to ask). The discussion turned toward how he could support her.

They are both in anguish. Despite the fact that they no longer live together, he wants provide emotional, physical and financial support of a loyal mate. What a good heart he has!

I also wanted to know from an energy medicine standpoint what may have contributed to the illness. The location of her illness had to do with honoring relationships, learning to "let go", lessoning control issues, and finding balance in life.

My friend related that his ex-wife's childhood included the traumatic loss of her father, a controlling and negative mother, and a lifetime of focusing on negativity. I understood immediately these concepts that Myss wrote about in reference to this cancer patient.

In the book, Myss says that "we are not meant to stay wounded. We are supposed to move through our tragedies and challenges and to help each other move through the many painful episodes of our lives."

and this part I love!  She says, "Wounds are the means through which we enter the hearts of other people. They are meant to teach us to become compassionate and wise."

Myss talks about the concept of a cellular bank account. Radically abbreviated (read the book!), she explains about life force energy (aka chi, qi, grace, holy spirit or prana), "Everything in our lives - every thought we have, every action we are involved with - requires some of this energy."

If you can replace the image of the ebb and flow of energy in our bodies with the image of money in and out of a bank account, you'll get the idea of
the give and take of energy and how it affects the body. For example, if you attempt to take out more money than you have in your bank account, what happens? Your debit card gets declined or you bounce a check.

Myss says that we either obtain energy from other people (parasitic/not good) or from our own cell tissue. We have to come up with a fresh supply of energy each day to properly care for our bodies. If we spend too much energy holding on to events in our lives, the cost takes a toll physically on our bodies.

"Refusing to let go of past events, whether positive or negative, means throwing away some part of your daily energy budget." She mentions the positive energy part because many people spend way too much time revisiting better times in the past....the goal is actually to concentrate on the present!

"You have to accept the stage of life in which you find yourself and maintain it with consciousness."

What to do with others who are suffering? She writes, "Viewing a trauma or a tragedy happening in somebody else's life demands of us a compassionate response, since compassion is an energy charge that assists a suffering person."

By the way, Myss also writes, "We need to realize that in some cases it may be Divine will that we do not heal at the physical level but learn from a chronic or terminal disease certain lessons that our soul needs to discover. At other times, we are meant to absorb spiritual virtues that are available to us only through illness and perhaps by doing so, inspire others."

A lot to digest, isn't it?! 

I recommend this book to healers and those who wish to be healed! I've only scratched the surface...

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